Cookie Monster, what does C stand for? C stands for condom

I fucked up with probably the most incredible girl I've ever met, and now all I want is one last chance. Let me take you out one more time, I promise it will be much less uneventful! ;)

My perfect woman.
dark, but light hair
One blue eye one green eye
6 toes on her right foot
6' but looks 5'5"
double majoring in Engineering and art with a minor in physical education
4 teeth (preferably molars)
Drives the Oscar Meyer Winermobile (yes those exist just not in montana)
Has massive credit card bills because she bought a Ferrari or Lamborghini (im not picky)
Has an accent (dont care if its real or fake)
preferably hairless except for your head (come on its 2013 don't we have genetic engineering yet)
I would like you to be at least 25% robotic... really hoping for the vibrating vagina like the girl in archer.
If you could sky dive, scuba dive, and high dive. that would be great because everyone loves a girl that goes down.
I would like someone that comes from a lesbian house hold with a creepy uncle named Steve.
Those are just a couple general things I look for in a girl....
if your just looking for sex... PERFECT because thats really the only requirement. NO VIRGINS NEED APPLY.
BUT SERIOUSLY if you have a vibrating vagina I really don't care about the rest!
~just for fun~

I went through my friend's messages and learned that he is gay.

To the guy who drives the big red F350 with idaho plates, I see you in the library all the time with your asian friend and I just wanted you to know I think you're so cute!

Cowboy Matthew Ryan is SO CUTE! <3

my rod is small and it hurts

To all the girls that aren't smiling now, your beautiful so keep cheesin :D