I am 99% sure I'm pregnant. It is the worst timing down to the week, and I think I am shutting down.

Not gonna lie, libertarians get me hot and bothered. People indoctrinated to the two-party system are just so less interesting. Rand Paul 2016!

Hey where are all you tall beautiful redhead ladies at?! Preferably someone more committed to skiing than a relationship, cuz we all know just because I slept with you last night doesn't mean I'm skiing with you today.

So remember when alltell was bought out by at&t? well when that happened, the 'my friends circle' wasnt transferred over so basically all landline calls were charged hella extra on the account. Unfortunately i didnt know that and i had a girlfriend at the time who i called on a landline all the time.

With that preface, here is my story:
I went to see one of my BFFs (who was a girl) and this trip was my first time flying alone and my GF wasnt too happy since i was going to hang out with a differnt girl for another week. I had planned the trip even before i met my GF so i wasnt gonna cancel, but i promised to call my gf every day so itd ease her nerves a bit. Well there i am sitting in the denver airport and i get a call from my mom explaining the whole friend circle thing and that my phone bill, instead of being $40 like it should be, was up to $750, and that there were to be no more calls made til it was figured out. So there i was, in trouble with my gf for not being able to talk with her, alone on my first plane trip with no way of contacting people i know, and freakin the hell out about how i was gonna repay the $750 after having spent all my money on the plane ticket. Thankfully my mom was able to make enough calls to get the charges dropped. I wound up getting delayed at the denver airport for 27 HOURS and my girlfriend broke up with me. That is my crazy story for the week.

I wonder...If i dated a girl then broke up with her, she would be my x-girlfriend. If she had a sex change, would that make her my x-boyfriend?

I always carry jolly ranchers in my pocket

not gonna lie, i go through these confessions, and 90% of the responses i type out, i never post because I realize I just don't care enough...I'd rather just post silly troll comments that make people smile instead haha

blacked the fuck out. fuck you. #nobodysperfect