#24933 No one realizes how sad I am until they see my snapchat.

#24932 I wonder what would happen if I randomly selected a girl to give my number attached to a rose?

#24931 I think I forgot how to flirt... or maybe I never knew how. Why is it so difficult to talk to the opposite sex?!

#24930 That moment when you realize people only keep you around because you're smart. And since when do girls get stuck in the friend-zone?

#24929 In the spirit of things, I decided to name my penis "The Force" cause the force is strong in some bitches...

#24928 damn I had a crazy semester. Got kicked out of the dorms, fucked hookers, hung out in strip clubs, drank like a fish, and got addicted to meth, became homeless. aint nobody turnt it up like me. but all that is over come next year. new year, new me :D

#24927 When I saw your beautiful face at the gym on Sunday the 13th, I became so nervous, I didn't end up talking to you. After some thought, I realize you were trying to get my attention. If I see you again, I will talk to you. From the guy with the red shorts and blue shirt.

#24926 My girlfriend admitted to trying weed for the first time, nothing wrong with that, however, if it becomes a constant thing while she works in her dead end job, I am going to dump her. It is wrong to want to be with someone who wants to strive for something more in life than weed and a poorly paid check?