#22515 I am going to die alone. Not because I can’t find anybody, but because of how past relationships have ruined me for good. I have deep-rooted trust issues with women. You may say that I need to forgive people in my past, not for their sake but for mine. But I’ve let this hate and mistrust fester in me far too long. When you’re submerged underwater, and you feel yourself running out of breath, you swim to the surface. As for me, I’ve been down too deep for so long that I wasn’t able to make it there before the part of me that wished to engage with someone on a deep intimate level drowned. Whenever I meet someone, I always end up pushing them away. My self-sabotage knows no end. Even if I still had the capacity for love, I’d subconsciously find a way to reject it. My heart is an empty Bic lighter that sparks but can’t ignite. My fierce and unyielding loyalty and compassion will be laid to waste. The thing that pains me the most is that I’m not even concerned with being loved but rather it’s the fact that I could have made someone happier beyond all imagining. I hope whoever that lady could have been will find it somewhere else and that my own ruin doesn’t alter her own fate too terribly, thus creating a mismatch and sending her down a path of bitter and unrelenting tears, thereby also turning her into the same shell of a person I’ve become but forever separated from each other, with a cosmic cruelty that we’ll never be aware of. Never again will we see the same colors as others do as we become trapped in a world cast in grayscale, retaining our hearing but no longer able to hear the music that life and our dreams once promised us.

Anyway, my confession is that I’ve never been a big fan of cheesecake. I know tons of people do, but I just don’t “get it”, I suppose. Hondo, hit me with a cat meme.

#22514 when the downgrade turns out to be a landslide

#22513 My solution to being single on Valentines day...
Go see Fifty Shades of Grey with my bff. Seems like a good plan to me!

#22512 I'm stoked to graduate and move out into the world, just so I can have my own house and train my dog to eat at the table with me

#22511 I'm confessing that I'm actually not okay, and all I want is a big long hug. I mean, cuddling wouldn't be bad either.

#22510 the best romantic movie ever is The Terminator.

#22509 To all the guys who checked on me the other weekend when I was crying and my friend was talking to me but I'm sure it looked really bad. I really appreciated it. It's good to know the people out here really look out for everybody and will make sure you're safe. Thanks so much guys!

#22508 "I need your clothes, your boots, and your motorcycle"