#22659 Emily Vest, we could be perfect together. You're the sweetest person I've ever met.

#22658 There are so many posts from people saying I want this and I want that. Yeah, we all want to be with someone who is perfect for us and makes us happy. Right now, I just want someone who I can be with and wants to try.

#22657 Out of curiosity I downloaded tinder. Got 14 matches or whatever the hell it's supposed to signify on the first day. Sufficient validation. Deleted tinder.

#22656 I’m almost 20 and haven’t been able to score a better job than a fucking cook at a local fast food joint. What makes it worse is that I live in a small town so business is pretty limited, and where I work is the only place that’ll hire high school graduates. This is the only job I’ve ever had and I will probably never get a better one.

My coworker harasses me verbally all day. If I told my boss, he would just cut my already low salary. All that fuckface cares about is money and his fat daughter.

Outside of work, I don’t do anything. My best friend is mentally retarded, but I suppose that’s better than nothing.

I am also in love with one of my few friends. She’s an athletic, smart, gorgeous southern belle who just moved here, but I’m sure she hates me too. Fuck.

My neighbor basically hates everything I do and all he does is praise himself and cry about his bald head.

I’m stuck in my home town because I never learned to drive. I fail the driver’s license test EVERY FUCKING TIME I TAKE IT. FUCK THIS. Worst of all I live in a fucking pineapple under the sea.

#22655 Once you hear "like a black little baby" instead of "like a black widow baby" you will never unhear it.

#22654 I started dating some guy from around here. Then I started talking to someone from Australia and it started out friendly but I've fallen in love. I broke it off because australia is too far. I'm still with the local guy now. But I'm now wondering if I made the right decision. Lifetime Movie Network doesn't help because I don't think this australian is capable of killing me.

#22653 OH MY GOD! I hate being a woman sometimes! I mean I gotta decide on which bra to wear (The sexy one, my comfortable one, or a sports bra) and if I choose not to, my fucking boobs could give me a black eye. Then the hormones. OMG Guys have it lucky. They're told by their little friend when they are actually horny whereas sometimes we're like "I just want to be cuddled tonight" or "Give me something from 50 shades of grey." or we could be "I'll just stick with a big ass pizza to myself" and then cry because we'll feel like a disgusting cow. And then the cycle is never ending.

#22652 To the asshole who smashed into my car, ripped the front bumper off, and didn't even leave your insurance info, I will find you.