#23196 I hit a new low in my life today; I woke up with a spilled beer on my desk and corn nuts in my bed. I'm beginning to think my life is taking a turn for the worst given my apathy.

#23195 The hardest part about wearing my Velcro shoes on campus is keeping the Velcro stuck together with all the pussy juice dripping on them.

#23194 I live in a place with four roommates and its been a good year. All four of us are guys so while the place isn't a sty it is occasionally not the cleanest place. Well one of my roommates (arguably the messiest one) got a girlfriend and now hes non stop getting on our cases about keeping the place in tip top shape, even though he doesn't help clean, AT ALL. I'm the second cleanest person in the room and I do my fair share to keep the place nice, but I can't stand this consistent nagging in the name of his girlfriend. Am I wrong in being upset about this?

#23193 Why do so many girls on this campus have this huge infatuation with Disney? Please find me a girl that won't talk about Phineas and Ferb or Frozen all the time and I will give you one million internets.

#23192 Sometimes I wait outside the procrastinator theater for a group of people to walk in so I can quickly and silently follow them inside and pretend like I have a group of friends. #foreveralone

#23191 I can't tell who is more attractive amber Gettis or Erica Gettis? Younger or older ????

#23190 "Fight Song" by Rachel Platten is my JAM right now. It comes on and it doesn't matter who's around or what's going on, I sing at the top of my lungs. I'm what some would call a "manly man" by appearance. Psh...

#23189 I really like this guy and I feel he likes me too, but I'm afraid of telling him because I'll be leaving the country in about 3 months. I really care about him and want him to be happy. Trying to start something with him and then leaving would probably not be the best idea. Seeing him suffering would kill me. I love you and want all the best for you, therefore it's probably better if you find someone else who can be there for you and make you happy. You deserve the best. Love you.