#23508 To the short red haired girl walking home from class smoking a cigarette behind ABB, how and when do I meet you? I saw you looking ;)

#23507 Today I needed to take a poop. I was in the SUB. I went into the male restroom when all the toilets were taken. I couldn't wait, I choose to go to the downstairs bathroom. There was a line in that restroom. I need to poop. So I left, I quickly went across to the Library. I went to the upstairs bathroom and The stalls were taken. I politely asked through the door how long they would be, they answered with a "What...? I just got in here." I couldn't wait. I proceed to move from bathroom to bathroom and I was struggling to find an empty one. I checked many, many different places on campus and for the love of god, I couldn't find one. Well, after many trys to find a toilet, I couldn't take it anymore. I was about to head towards north when my poop started coming out of my ass. I couldn't hold it anymore. So, I ran over by the duck pond and found a bush, I pulled my pants down, bent over, and began to shit. The feeling of relief was enormous. I was happy, I had a moment of peace and just hoping no one would see me. That's when a beautiful blond walked by, I watched her walk and like my poop, my heart dropped. I finished my shit, walked out of the bush and watched her walk away. I should have tried to get your number. Hot blonde walking past the duck pond on Monday around 3, will you go on a date with me?

#23506 That kid with the mullet on the skateboard needs to slow down, i'm just kidding Nakas have my babies.

#23505 "People always say that guys with small cars have big dicks, or that guys with a large shoe size have big dicks, or that guys with big noses, big ears or big hands have big dicks... No wonder clowns wear such baggy pants."

One of the funniest youtube comments I've ever read.

#23504 To the asshole that stole my mountain bike from my house, please bring it back. Karma is real, it'll get you like it got me.

#23503 I like to argue....... a lot.

#23502 I don't understand women, that's not really a great confession because let's face it nobody else does either.

#23501 Why can’t atheists solve exponential equations?
Because they don’t believe in higher powers.