#24108 "Why are you lesbian?"

Because one day I was sitting on the floor in my room watching rugrats when my fairy god fagot flew into the room she said "listen here you son of a bitch you are gay every day got it" and I nodded then she hit me on the head with her antidick stick and poof now I'm homo.

#24107 I like to kick ass and chew bubblegum, and I'm all outta bubblegum..

#24106 Your ass is grass and I'm the weedwhacker.

#24105 Acceptance and love is the answer

#24104 Attention all:
This year parking will be rough, and driving will be especially infuriating. Please take note of a few suggestions:
Pedestrians need to use the crosswalks (I'm talking to the 25% of you who ignore them), AND FOR GOODNESS SAKE, LOOK BOTH WAYS BEFORE CROSSING!! You CANNOT rely on cars to do all the paying attention when there's so much activity
Bikers should stop at the stop signs, all of them.
Drivers: many of you who are parking along sidewalks could get a little closer to each other. You don't need to have 5 feet behind you and 5 feet in front of you. We could fit two more cars along each sidewalk with all that space.
Everyone: be respectful and pay attention to those around you, whether driving, walking, or biking.

#24103 To the gentleman from Kansas in my EDU 223 class MWF at 9am....I know you're married, I am not trying to hit on you or be "that girl" I just wanted you to know that you are so incredibly handsome! and your smile is gorgeous!

#24102 Since I graduated I hate all you college kids.

#24101 Football Season:
Person 1: GO FOOTBALL TEAM
Person 2: My football team is better than your football team
Person 1: Yeah, well my team's win-loss record is better than your team's.
Person 2: But my team has a higher (insert random football statistic) than your team does.
Person 1: Yeah, but he (uses 'roids, is a rapist, has affairs, runs a dogfighting ring, does illegal stuff)
Person 2: Yeah, well my dick is bigger than your dick
Person 1: Prove it
ARE YA READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?