#449 Sometimes I wish I was born female because all of my friends are female, and I feel left out a lot.

#448 As someone who smokes every night before bed, I think it's important not to understate the psychological effects of being unable to dream after falling asleep high.

#447 I'm beginning to think this Ganpat guy isn't bringing us drinks, after all. Oh, well. At least I'm the bhai.

#446 I like to think that I'm alive, that I'm owning the world.
I want to know how it all works.
i hope to protest injustice.
But mostly, right now, I want some homemade chicken noodle soup.

#445 two hours ago I thought of at least five amazing confessions and now I forgot them all so my only confession is that I confess that I forgot my confessions...

#444 How are there people on this page who still complain about the 'social justice warriors?'

A). its not 2013 anymore and no longer cool to show how edgy you are by how little you care about the debate around [x issue].

B). I know that post on Tumblr about [x issue that doesn't affect you] got you all hopping mad about 'how touchy people are these days' but to other people, these aren't opportunities for you to make some pithy response that you can use to show how ironic you are about all of this. They're real issues that affect their lives, and showing how out of touch you are doesn't make you cool.

C). Half the posts on here are now really obvious trolling attempts because of how desperate you are to pick a fight with the people you imagine are going around speaking up TOO loudly about [x issue that doesn't affect you]. How do you still fall for them every time? This, additionally, does not make you cool.

#443 I will literally fart wherever, whenever. As long as it's quiet, no one ever thinks it's me, so I just go for it.

#442 One of the most monumental decisions, you have to make when texting is whether or not to use the smiley face. Smiley faces are tricky because you don't want to seem creepy or perverted, but at the same time a smiley face can convey a greater spectrum of emotions. I've witness the smiley face ruin lives and I've seen it make the difference. However, the choice to smiley face or not to smiley face is up to you, what will you do when it's time to press send. The struggle is real.