#504 Today I was walking to class along Macalester street drinking from my blue-green Nalgene Wide Mouth Everyday Water Bottle. As I was walking, my gate being quite bouncy (I am usually noticed for this style of walking), the Nalgene Wide Mouth Everyday Water Bottle spilled water on me. Luckily, and thankfully, I was wearing a raincoat as the weather was threatening rain, and the water slid off of me like it does off of seal skin. How amazing, I thought, that a plastic jacket could protect me from the water carening out of my Nalgene Wide Mouth Everyday Water Bottle. I realized the fault was not my Nalgene Wide Mouth Everyday Water Bottle's but mine, and the bottle itself could not have caused the water to spill. It is made of reliably durable and unbreakable plastic that would never leak onto me or spill, even if i was wearing a plastic jacket! From this situation I realized that I should never blame my poor Nalgene Wide Mouth Everyday Water Bottle and rather myself for my spilling! It is silly and irresponsible to blame mistakes on in animate objects, and the great people at Nalgene. They would never spill water on me. I know this. God bless my Nalgene Wide Mouth Everyday Water Bottle. It hydrates me well.

#503 What is going on with all of these antisemitic confessions lately? It's not funny or clever, and the historical memory of antisemitism makes these posts, even if they're joking, seem all the more serious. Get it together Macalester.

#502 A liberal, athiest, female, African American, Obama-supporting University of California professor and abortion enabler was teaching a class on Adria Richards, known feminist.
“Before the class begins, you must get on your hands and knees and worship Richards and accept she was the greatest feminist this earth had ever seen, even greater than Eve!
At this moment, a brave, patriotic, 16 year old pro-life student, who regularly attended Church, said his daily prayers, wore a purity ring, and fully understood the innate evilness of killing unborn children stood up.
“When is it OK to terminate a baby’s life?”
The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied “24 weeks, shitlord.”
“Wrong. Life starts at the moment of conception, as defined in the Holy Bible and endorsed by many scientists around the world”
The professor was visibly triggered. She dropped her iPad carrying latest blogpost from jezebel.com. She stormed out of the room crying those liberal feminazi tears, furiously tweeting to her feminists sisters to whip up some drama. There is no doubt that at this point the professor, Mirielle “Big Mama” Miller-Young wished she had become more than a sophist feminist professor, Tumblrite and reblogger. She tore apart the God-fearing child’s sign, just like she tore apart thousands of unborn children by preaching her Godless feminist dogma to impressionable young women. She was so angry, she wished so much that she had a gun to shoot herself with, but she herself had petitioned against them!
The students applauded and all registered Republican the next day and accepted God as their lord and saviour. An Eagle named “Pro Life” flew into the room and perched atop the American flag. Fred Phelps himself showed up and delivered a moving sermon. The professor lost her tenure and was fired the next day, and her status as a strong independent woman was forever enshrined when she was swiftly given moderator privileges on SRS.

#501 Just because I don't qualify for financial aid doesn't mean I didn't work harder than you to get here.

#500 Every Thursday I love sitting down to watch my favorite show Kill la Kike featuring Adolf Hitler

#499 Social justice is ultimately just a fear of normal distributions.

#498 Here's a legit question for all you AMST/WGSS SJW types around here: when/how do "privilege" and "oppression" actually come to an end? When LGBT people have full rights? When gender/racial wage and education gaps are totally closed? Right now we can identify and measure inequality very easily, but when all quantifiable inequality is resolved (as I anticipate is possible within 50-100 years) won't it be time to shelve those concepts? Or will you just be cataloging microaggressions on Tumblr for eternity?

#497 NTMA, NTMA, if you don't know what that is all I got to say, all I got to say is NTMA