#689 We need a discourse on this campus about how badly the soundtrack on Scandal sucks.

#696 I sucked my boyfriend's cock while the other two people in our hostel room were sleeping.

#695 The other day, I was walking across the street towards my place of work when a car almost hit me. I noticed it too late, but out of nowhere I felt two strong hands grab me and pull me to the sidewalk. It was a handsome and well-dressed latino gentleman, who immediately asked, "Are you alright, citizen?" I nodded quickly and stuttered, "Y-y-yes. Thank you!" The car had swerved, however, and had driven into a street light. Its windshield was shattered and its driver unconscious. Swiftly, the man who saved my life tore open the car door, grabbed the driver, and immediately performed CPR on him. He revived and thanked his savior profusely, who was already calling 9-1-1 for him. I was so engrossed in the scene that I did not notice the cuts on my own arms from glass and debris. The heroic man immediately leaped back with a first aid kit in his hand and laid me down in his lap. He delicately removed the pieces of debris and applied bandages to my wounds. He then directed me to the nearest hospital and wished me the best of luck, advising me to be more careful in the future. I agreed and thanked him again, asking for his name. He replied, "My name is not important. What is important is the lesson to be learned here." I asked him, "And what lesson is that?" He pulled me close, his strong arms giving me a feeling of utmost security as the stubble on his chiseled face brushed against my ear, and he whispered to me:

"That you cannot flim-flam the Zim-Zam."

He then whistled sharply and out of an alley bounded a majestic-looking white stallion that let out a proud neigh as it met eyes with its owner. The man leaped onto its back and grabbed its reins, directing the animal away from the scene. He turned his head, gave me one last glance and smile, and then prompted to ride off into the distance, with all onlookers clapping and cheering for the new hero of the town. A single tear rolled down my face as I tried in vain to suppress a wide smile. I knew the day was going to be a good one.

#694 The sun is shining, the grass is green: when are the larpers coming back?

#693 If you hate athletes, you're missing out on some seriously great friendships. I don't know why that is, but I think their commitment to their sport makes them very passionate and loyal friends. It might seem like they only form those bonds with their teammates, but that's not true at all. If you get to know them, you'll notice that the athletes here are some of the nicest people in the world.

#692 Sometimes I feel like the level of privilege I have (fairly high) means my problems don't matter and I'm not allowed to be unhappy or unsuccessful.

#691 I left my international student privilege unchecked back in my country so no, I don't know what you're talking about. #oops #sorrynotsorry

#690 My PF brings all the food to the yard, and I'm like, it's better than ours, damn it it's better than ours.