For about my whole life, I've either had no friends, shitty friends, or (at best) ok friends. Before this year, I spent a lot of the recent past trying not to think about how damn lonely I was and even casually considering suicide to the point where it was almost some morbid hobby (like if I was bored or something, I'd think, "oh hm what if i killed myself today...how would i do it...what would people's reactions be...how could i do it with leaving the smallest trace possible..." etc. Not healthy, I know.) But this year - it feels like I finally have found a solid group of friends- it's like they actually enjoy my presence and want me around and will do things like wait for me if I'm late to catch up to them or if someone interrupts me on accident they'll make sure to go back to what I had been saying, and so on. I never feel like I'm constantly on the edge of someone's friendship anymore. It's all a lot of little things, but I've never had friends who consistently made me feel so valued. I just want them to know how much I appreciate them and how much they mean to me. They don't know I've been suicidal, but they've saved my life.

To those who've been saying they feel so lonely- I get you, I totally do. And I know this is trite, but things will get better- they really will. It might take a while, but it'll happen. I have two pieces of advice, if anyone wants them.

First: Don't give up. Live, don't withdraw - go to class, eat meals, have times to relax and take care of yourself, etc.

Second: Try to follow through. If there's something you want to do, at least try for it - the worst that can happen is likely not as bad as it seems. In the context of friends, if there's someone who you get along with and you'd like to get to know better, say so! Ask to grab lunch with them sometime, see if they wanna hang out on a weekend, or something. My friendships with the people mentioned above pretty much began by me saying that we should drink/smoke together sometime (and then actually making sure that happened, rather than just saying so), then grabbing meals together more often, and so on.

So to my friends, thank you. To those still struggling, I believe in you.

Am I the only person who wonders if white is a color or not when people are talking about race? I'm an international student and simply don't like the phrase "people of color" very much.

Unpopular Mac Opinion #3: I am so excited to get married. I can't wait to have that one person I can call my partner in life. I may be engaged before I graduate from college. I am excited to have kids. I've always wanted kids since I was a little girl. I also want a fancy house with a pool. Just because I have these life goals doesn't mean I'm not a feminist. It doesn't mean I don't respect people who don't want to get married or have kids. It doesn't mean I don't want a career. I doesn't mean I believe having money is the ultimate goal in life. It doesn't mean I'm old fashioned or "bending to societies will". Just because I'm doing something that society deems as successful doesn't mean I'm doing for societies approval. I'm doing it for me.

Unpopular Mac Opinion: I am BEYOND okay being a A and B and occasional C student. I haven't had straight As since 9th grade. It's awesome that people work hard to get straight As and push themselves in that way. That's just not me. I'm still going to graduate, I'm still going to get a job and have a family and accomplish everything I want in my life.

@ whoever posted that confession about Alex Dash: I agree.

@Alex: You single? Looking?

Sometimes it's really hard to be a curvy girl on campus. I feel self conscious every time I eat fatty foods, go to the gym, or wear a tight shirt because of my size.

I am looking for girl friends who enjoy mani/pedi and brunch dates.

Guy who plays the same Anderson Paak album in the loch twice every. damn. shift. Quit it or these Turck 4 hands gonna getcha. Pew pew, horray.