#2739 I am a lonely horny nerd, possibly because my Tinder pickup line is "Wow, your smile blew my mind so hard, they had to remove me from Ford's Theatre" and nobody who gets the joke finds it funny.

#2738 Controversial opinion: I find Amy Schumer to be very funny and undeniably sexy.

#2737 I want Oprah and nicki Minaj to come out and speak on campus someday.

#2736 Even though my very but my very Christian parents raised me to not like Jews, I secretly have a huge need for hot rich Jewish men.

#2735 I wish I can find myself a woman here who's just like Barbra Streisand. I'm tired of all these plain ol Mary Jane's, whatever happened to real women who are talented in dancing and acting and joke delivery and rely on themselves like the great Barbra? Even though she's old and taken and a celebrity, she will always be my model of what I want and need in a woman!

#2734 MY BOYFRIEND GOT LIMPDICK

#2733 You're about 5'5" with blonde hair, getting married on Saturday 5/27. We spoke briefly in the parking lot of Panera and I just hope you're okay. You're strong and beautiful and will come out on top of whatever life pitches at you. Remember that it's okay to take some space. Give yourself some you-time and room to breathe when you need it.

Best,
Strange chick that hugged you

#2732 Sometimes I need a reminder of just how crazy my ex-girlfriend was.