I've masturbated to animated women in video games... Multiple times

I sold my truck a while ago. Recently I broke up with my girlfriend of two years. Is it sad that I miss the truck every day, but only miss the girlfriend when I think about the awesome back rubs she gave? I kinda feel like an a- hole.

so my girlfriend woke me up with a fart the other day. then she woke up, blamed it on me and got really mad. NOT FAIR!

So my girlfriend was drunk. I was also drunk. I spent 20 minutes licking the wrong hole.... turns out, I found out what a rimjob was the hard way.
I'd do it again.

I'm really short, and I'd actually rather be as short as I am than tall. You can shop in the girls department still, and you get even more options in the petite department. You can where heels as high as you want and still look normal, and people can pick you up and carry you around easily. Short girls ftw.

To the girl who is free over J-term and looking to be bound.
I will find you.
And I will pleasure you.
Game on.

I lost my virginity to a guy with a big dick, like 8 inches and pretty thick. I was like, hooooly shit how is that thing going to fit in me. We were pretty young (15) so neither of us knew what we were doing. It hurt like a motherfucker and I bled *a lot*. I don't regret when/how I lost my vaginal virginity, but that's because of who it was with and how sweet he was during it. But it hurt pretty fuckin bad. It was actually way less painful losing my anal virginity for me.

I have a confession there's this badass party that is happening Dec.31st.. Everybody come fuck with it.