I'm still a virgin, even though I've had anal and oral sex.

I think it's completely unprofessional for you to talk shit about other students really loudly when you're working at the front desk. Seriously?

I remember when I was at Hamline back in the early 90s. Great times! Do you kids still host sock hops in the GLC lobby?

I am completely unafraid of death. It's not that I would kill myself, or that I wish I were dead, I just do not fear dying. Living, is much harder than dying. Dying is only emotionally challenging for those around us, but living is incredibly hard on everyone. Why are people so afraid of death? Life is scary, it's full of unknowns and hardships. Death, is simply. whether you believe in heaven or not, it doesn't matter once you die. There is no more fear, no more worry, no more pain, no more suffering. Just emptiness, or the afterlife, or something else entirely.

Sometimes my girlfriend calls me, and all I can think is NO ONE CARES. I really do love her, but I do not care that the car in front of you has a bumper sticker you don't like, or that you got your shoe laces wet in the snow, or that you broke a nail. 45 minutes of my life should not be wasted on your thoughts about how they should increase the size of parking slots so you can park without having to back up and re-align.
Alright, I'm gad I got that off my chest.

No offense to people who don't hunt, but when people tell me it is cruel to hunt and kill my own food, yet they eat meat that is commercially produced I get really upset. I also get upset at "vegans" with real leather shoes, who eat baked goods made with eggs and milk, and buy food that is produced by farms where pests and other animals are killed to protect the farmers crops. I can respect you not hunting, but I really really don't like idiots.

Hey girl I like staring at
I like staring at you

your long elegant neck
like a sexy giraffe's

the hair atop your head
reminds of The Lorax
looks like the truffalo trees
when your gingerly runs your hands through it
its a swift breeze of leaves

I aint even gonna apologize for staring

That awkward moment when you talk to yourself thinking you're alone but your roommate has been there the whole time.