"I like to put my porn on silent and subtly masturbate with my roommates present. I can't get any alone time so why not?"

"The safety reminder email from Hamline was nice and all, but I have a few things to add: This goes for both genders, but my fellow ladies especially - being as beautiful as we are, it has a few drawbacks - one being making us targets to creeps out at night. It sucks since we shouldn't have to feel this way, but it's a reality that we have to face. Here are a few safety tips I've picked up from various news stories and whatnot...
1. Keep your keys in your knuckles - kinda like wolverine. It makes "punching like a girl" a lot more painful.
2. Don't be talking on the phone or texting while you're walking at night. Yeah, it may be more comforting to be talking with someone while alone at night, but it's nothing more than a distraction. Keep your eyes on the prize - getting to your destination quickly and safely.
3. This may seem weird, but I heard on the news some time ago that predators are more likely to target women who have their hair up in a pony tail. I guess that'd be easier to grab onto.
4. Invest in a little self defense. This could mean taking self defense classes, or buying a little can of pepper spray.

Biggest thing here - it's better to be safe than sorry, and also better to be paranoid than dead."

"I love everybody in my life!!!"

"Sara,
I go to the U, but we met at bakers square in Roseville when you served me and my parents.. You were really nice and kept coming back to talk to me. I couldnt tell if you were into me or just doing your job well..My mom told me to leave my number on the receipt but i thought i shouldn't. Also, sorry for looking so hungover, but in my defense it was a Sunday morning, plus you were wearing your work uniform.. So..."

"The primary reason for talking to my ex is her sweet sweet pussy."

"I'm starting the Hamline Advertising Club, but I have never seen Mad Men. I feel like I'm living a lie."

"Honestly i'm glad I joined Theta Chi. Now i've got like 40 new crazy brothers in my life!
- Chocolate Thunder"

""Live like a bomb threat"
"IMMA DO IT!!""