"I'm 2 drunk 2 taste this chickyn"

"Who/where should I turn to if I am having issues with my advisor?? Help!"

"Averi Phan is the most gorges girl I have ever seen and a very lovly smile."

"The whole "#PrayForBoston" thing really pisses me off. Yes, it is important to be respectful of the people who died and were injured, but really? Your all-powerful, all-knowing god could have prevented this tragedy, so why pray about it? Do something productive, like donating blood or money. I understand that people have this illusion that religion makes everything better, but it really doesn't people. It really really doesn't. If this god of yours could do something now, why didn't he do something earlier?"

"Stefon whenever I see you shooting pool or playing pingpong I can't help but wanna tease you"

"I think Genna Kafka is really beautiful and would love to get to know her better"

"I think Portland is always high."

"I'm scared to try anal sex (as a straight woman) because I fear I'll shit myself or my boyfriend will prefer it to vagunal sex."