I convinced everyone in my WRD 103 class to call the teacher "Shark Bart" and they did! But then Shark Bart told everyone to call me "Idiot Asshole" and pointed out that I have a small dick and big fat balls.

Shark Bart got me again!

I'm trying to have sex with my audit professor.

I graduated from depaul in november 2013. I still cannot get a job and i live with my parents. I thought i wasnt going to get through 2016 without killing myself. Thanks depaul.

I sliced my dick mid-deadlift at the gym but nobody noticed because I am such a good lifter:)

In the Lewis building on the back stairs used to smoke bowls of weed between shifts when it was too cold to go outside. Going back to work high as hell was fun and made the shift go fast.

I must confess, I'm a little disappointed that this wasn't going on this year. I was homeless on campus for a couple weeks and could have used an audience to ask for a place to sleep; instead, I masturbated in the library bathrooms until 2 am and then rode the Red Line with the OG homeless people all night. Good people, really.

People, stop riding the elevator from the 2nd floor to the lobby.

My girlfriend and I went back to a Depaul guy's apartment last Friday night after closing down Duffys. My girlfriend /wing-woman was trashed and decided the guy's roommates were assholes. So, while I was hooking up with this guy, she takes a dump on a plate and leaves it in their fridge.