#13374 I got drunk this weekend and I tried to scare my friends by hiding in the trash can but I was so fucked up, I got so comfortable I fell asleep until the next day. Woke up popping out of the trash like fucking Oscar the grouch and scared some poor idiot :(

#13373 Who saw the Jurassic wORLD tease?! :D

#13372 A bird can fly, but a fly can't bird..

#13371 What the hell is wrong with people who use their laptop IN FRONT of a desktop computer at the library while people are walking around looking for an open computer in the library?!?!?? Go sit in a goddamn chair!!!!!!!!!!!! That's what those are there for!!!

#13370 That fucking tow mirror hating, Prius driving, tree hugger pussy got me too!! Fucking liberals!

#13369 I had a bizarre dream wherein I cheated on my boyfriend with my lab partner. It all turned out to be an elaborate setup, my lab partner filmed it and sent it to my boyfriend, and everyone was miserable. Now I can't look at my lab partner without hating him and remembering the lion tattoo on his left butt cheek.

#13368 Sometimes I wish I was a police officer so I could pull over all the people who drive illegally on purpose. The amount of it in this city is ridiculous.

#13367 I was gonna take a dump in king hall today, only to find the entire toilet seat covered in pubs. What the fuck dudes? When did manscaping become something you did between classes? Or is it one of those lachsa faggoty justin-bieber wannabe kids trying to look sexy for the guys?