We're almost halfway through a year without any butt-chugging related hospitalizations! Way to go, Augie!

I'd swing naked on a wrecking ball for the baseball team

All I am to my father is a bill and a reminder of a failed relationship.

I have a friend that I like to hang out with, but they flirt with me strongly. While originally I found myself flattered by this, now it just seems awkward because I'm not in a relationship with this person, and I have the feeling that people think that I am. How do I resolve this issue?

If only my sorority knew about how isolated I feel despite always talking about how I can't imagine not being a part of it after just pledging this last Spring. I'll go to meetings and try to be talkative and bubbly, but I can't help but want to cry right when everyone leaves. Why do I feel so alone, depressed, and hated when I'm surrounded by such compassionate girls? I love them all like they're my family (which in a way they are), but do they really feel the same way about me?

Who, the fuck, keeps throwing oranges and various fruit on/in the slough?

Don't commit to someone your entire college career. It will bite you in the ass later on.

I'm recently single and people keep telling me to go out and get laid. Layed? Regardless. I don't want that. I'm not a one night stand type of guy. I'm a relationship type of guy.