This was by far the best weekend here at Augie. We go hard in the mothafuckin paint.

Why is it so hard to find a friends with benefits here? Any girl that is willing to give it up, gives it up to the damn guys with STDs already, want a clean guy? augieguy12@yahoo and maybe we can talk

I gauge whether or not I can walk on the slough by the amount/size of rocks thrown on the ice.

What happened to Paintball???? Poor freshman don't know what its like to be white girl wasted on jungle juice.

All the confessions lately suck ass. Stop being so down and be happy. Or drink a few beers. Cause that makes everyone happy.

I have a master plan to use the coercion of augustana's dominoes buying populace to drive the current rock island dominoes out of business. There will be boycotts, freedom rides, etc. I like to imagine that the picketing signs might say something like, "how far are we willing to go". I will then become owner of this dead/dying business. We'll sell large pizzas for two dollars and cheesy breadsticks will come with everything! That will also be the time at which augustana will require a p.e. class every term because, HOLLA at my fellow fatasses but we can't eat pizza errrday and look THIS good. But in the meantime...PIZZA ALL AROUND.

I have more body hair than any woman should.

My family is rich but I shoplift everyday.