When I'm with girls, I prefer to be on top because, sorry ladies, I haven't met one yet who knows what they hell they're doing up there.

Sometimes I feel like Augustana is Hogwarts. Seriously. The arches by Founders Hall has a definite resemblance, we have secret underground tunnels that no one is allowed to go in, and every time I say "First Year" I think I'm a prefect. Plus we have a belltower. Not really sure how that's magical, but it's pretty sweet.

I'm real glad to get the FUCK out of here lol.
GOODBYE MOTHERFUCKERS, peace!

Just went a full week without showering. I worked out, even engaged in coital relations. I am simply wearing a obscene amount of deodorant and cologne. They are great inventions

I'm going to make some freshman friends that live in seminary next year so I can poop in the third floor seminary stall with a view. I'm gonna miss pooping here with the window open everyday.

Ethan Gale OMG! Do you wear a cup or is it really that big!!!

American Chemical Society can screw off. This Gen Chem final will suck!

Am I the first Augian to confess while taking a shit?