I once had a dog lick peanut butter off my nuts

Smiling is the second best thing to do with your lips.

I was walking under the Urn/Mort lobby and noticed a boy with a leather jacket, gorgeous sideburns, and sexy tasseled brown hair. I let out an "unnnnnnnffffff" sound by accident, and he turned around to see me blushing at him. Where are you gorgeous boy? Please find me!

Nabila G. those leather pants you wore on Halloween.. DAMN! you should wear them err'day. ;)

I consider myself a fairly intelligent person, and I'm usually able to detect when I'm being manipulated. However, today I chose Sabra brand hummus over all the other brands. Why did I choose this brand? Because I once saw a Sabra commercial with Jeffrey Tambor (George Bluth) in it. Advertising works, people.

It's 2 am and I can't sleep because people are loud and keep banging on my walls. Not to mention that the entire floor is getting fined because some people don't know how to respect community bathrooms (like, who decides to puke in the sink?!).
Signed,
A very discontent Urness 6th floor resident.

I'm Miley Cyrus

Subah J makes me weep tears of joy.