Hamline  Confessions

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I just wanna give a shout out to the professor who smells like ham and flunked me last term because he is a whiny snowflake who is afraid of opinions that differ from his own elitist bubble.

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"You speak English very well" says the douchebro in my group project to me (thai). Gee thanks, I've only lived in Wisconsin for 18 years, as did my parents and grandparents. I would sure hope so. Fuck. that.

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The Verizon-turned-Sprint spokesman is a shady bitch, I need a whole glass of lemonade every time a sprint commercial comes on and he snatches Verizon's weave. Can you hear this?

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I was pretty bummed Agent Orange was elected potus, but it might be worth it just to see him charged for treason and locked up for good. Finally a little justice for all his SA victims over the past couple decades.

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Hold up. Can we stop saying 'sloppy seconds'? Unless you're having sex like Scooby Doo, stop slut shaming people for moving on from your beige ass. Ain't nothing sloppy but your ego.

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And we are a third world nation Under the thumb of some blue blood royal son Who stole the oval office and that phony election I mean It don't take a weatherman To look around and see the weather Vlad said he'd deliver, folks And boy did he ever And we hold these truths to be self evident: Number one, Donald J. Trump is not president Number two, America is not a true democracy Number three, the media is not fooling me Cause I am a poem heeding hyper-distillation I've got no room for a lie so verbose I'm looking out over my whole human family And I'm raising my glass in a toast Here's to our last drink of fossil fuels May we vow to get off of this sauce

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Poll: which ones of you has seen Frances Ha?? :~)

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I have avoided going to a therapist for years because I worry that they would send me to a hospital for self harming. Would they involuntarily commit me? I'm trying to make some good steps and attempt to get help but I really don't want to be committed

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