Hamline  Confessions

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I just want to hook up with the perfect girl. You know, big brown eyes, green skin, layers. Just shrek me in bed please. I want you to fill me with your swamp~

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I secretly ship the StarBucks lady with the Caribou Coffee Moose in my fanfictions. It's a forbidden love that ends in a tragedy as the Dunkin' Donuts Guy comes back from the dead and tries to kill them both, but falls in love with the Moose and then all three of them convert to Mormonism and get married and live happily ever after in Yugoslavia making dope ass coffee, but then they realize that Mormons don't coffee, and Yugoslavia doesn't exist anymore. Realizing that their lives are a lie, they drink a gallon of 'Asskicker' coffee and die in a glorious, over-caffeinated orgy that ends in cardiac arrest...except for Dunkin' Donuts Guy, who's heart actually comes back to life as a coffee vampire,a vampire that drinks coffee instead of blood, and goes back to high school for vampires to study brewing.

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what's the name of that eastern european girl

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#MAKEHAMLINECONFESSIONSSPICYAGAIN

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Her: "How high is your sex drive?" Me: "What units do I use?" Why am I this way

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I need help and dont know where to turn. I feel like my whole support network is gone. I feel like the second it started showing how depressed i was all my friends just slowly started to stop talking to me. I dont even facebook i just had to get this off of my chest.

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I feel bad about it but I lowkey think it'd be hilarious if trump won just to see the (HEAVY QUOTES) """"developed"""" world fall apart and burn. But no, I won't vote for him.

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When it comes to not starting a war with Russia, protecting my 2nd amendment rights, and not making horrible trade deals like TPP, the only sensible option for me is voting Trump, temperament or not.

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