Submit your Hamline confession here: (100% anonymous)
Ever since I was a little boy, I have loved Russia
I watched my first Olympics in 2004
Mother's boyfriend asks which nation I support
Say Russia
He calls me a "Ruskie"
Soon I pick out a Russian language phrasebook for tourists from the book store
I teach myself Cyrillic
Be in middle school
The Soviet Union is so cool. I'm cool too. I call myself a communist and fashion my own Che Guevara hat which I wear to the Halloween dance
I get my other friends excited about the Soviet Union
I make crude memes about the Soviet Union in MS Paint
I fake a Russian accent now, and tell other kids I was adopted from Russia
I even pick a city of origin (Rostov) to back up my claim and get mad when the other kids don't believe me.
Be in high school
Vladimir Putin is cool. I'm cool too. In Winter I wear the ushanka and long wool coat I got for Christmas. I stop wearing my sunglasses inside when my orchestra teacher threatens me
I tell my dad I want to decorate my room like the Russian embassy
Have matrushka of all the Soviet leaders, painted in a gulag
After my Putin t shirt shrinks in the wash the other kids stare and I try not to notice
Be in college
Donald Trump is cool. He's a meme. I'm cool too. I slav squat and can tell good vodka from bad vodka.
All my friends like Uncle Vlad
Lots of them like Donald too
(Donald is good friends with Uncle Vlad)
Donald and Uncle Vlad say nice things about each other and they agree so much
My friends want me to like Donald
Donald wants me to like him too
Donald says lots of scary things all his friends say he doesn't mean
Uncle Vlad says if I let Donald be my new Daddy it'll be just like living with him
I would really like living with Uncle Vlad
Would Uncle Vlad lie to me?
TMP :^)
For some reason the FB app on my Windows phone repeats posts whenever I scroll down my feed, like 4 statues will literally recycle after I scroll down for a bit. I'm thinking either the FB app on Windows is busted or the FB app recycles posts because I don't have interesting enough friends...
I got more edges than tetracontakaidigon.
-xXDARKBLOODSEXTEARSXx: The edgelord of Hamline
Being "salty" is now my standard mood.
"question for all the functioning adults out there who have their shit together: how does one go about getting their shit together? IS LIFE ONE BIG ENDLESS TO-DO LIST??
asking 4 a friend."
Answer: Stop doing so many drugs.
Sincerely,
A friend
Everyone thinks zookeeping took the shot at Harambe. However, the sheeple don't realize that Hillary took the shot from 1600 yards with a 338 Lapua mag. Bunch of shills.
Anderson Center: What a nice looking college building. Too bad it is the personification of waste. Wasted space and wasted hours. OMG, Perkins and McDonalds have superior time/space/ulitzation ratio than frickin Anderson Center.
#TheRoastofHamline
What if you could major and minor in the same subject? o_O