Submit your MIT confession here: (100% anonymous)
#686
"At #681:
You were my first friend at MIT. Yes, you. I remember the good times at Interphase; Oasis, hellish calc 2 psets, watching the Breakfast Club with the gang, etc. I wish that summer never ended. Then time flew by and our first year at MIT was upon us! We split our ways, you to Simmons, I to Maseeh. I didn't see you as much, and felt kinda left out since we were best buds in the summer. Freshman fall and IAP also flew by, and spring semester started. One day, I got one of the worst/stressful calls I would ever receive. I remember it clearly as if it was yesterday. I was in class when you suddenly called, telling me you were being taken in an ambulance. I freaked out; my best friend was just being whisked off somewhere for reasons I didn't yet fully understand. I was heartbroken, as I’m sure many other of your friends were. I remember visiting you. It just felt as if they had taken you away from us, from MIT. It didn’t seem fair at all. Visiting you at the hospital was hard on all of us. We all wanted to somehow get you out of there, but all to no avail. Freshman spring passed, and summer arrived. When you told me you got in to Columbia, I was so happy for you! It meant that you were close to getting back to us. Then you told me you weren’t going to be able to return for at least another semester. It was hard for all of us, to support you in these trying times.
For me, unfortunately, I was stricken with inexplicable anxiety sophomore fall. I felt like I couldn’t control my worrying either. Then I freaked out, remembering what you went through. In fact, anything that reminded me of you would cause me intense stress and worrying. I blocked you in Facebook, and tried to erase you from my memory in order to stop the worrying. That semester was one of my darkest… After going to MIT medical several times, I realized I didn’t really have OCD. I came to my senses, and I felt horrible that I had blocked you after all that we had gone through. I hope you can forgive me.
I can’t wait for you to get back, man. I miss you, we all do. I still have the card you sent me for my birthday freshman year, with the Naruto theme. I’m so glad and grateful you were able to overcome the challenges you faced. I’ll definitely be praying for you to get back to MIT. You’ll also need your jutsu!! Kage bunshin no jutsuuuu!!!! :D"
#685
"My worst grade was in my major"
#684
"My CPW host was hot."
#683
"Ever since MIT Confessions, I rarely check isawyou.mit.edu anymore. So much drama doe."
#682
"Whenever my phone rings and I see that it's one of my parents, my immediate reaction is dread and fear. I recently found out that this might not be normal. How am I supposed to handle being "home" next week, when my real home is MIT? (I love this fucking place, by the way)"
#681
"Some of you will know who I am, but I am not concerned with that anymore. I am here to deliver a message.
"When I opened that email and checked to see if I was accepted, I ran to my mom and hugged her with the biggest smile. Then, I did a summer program at MIT and met the best friends anyone could ever ask for. When it was time to start my freshman year, I walked through the infinite with more confidence than well, a pre-frosh who was just accepted into the best school in the world. I did well my first semester, with the help and support of my friends of course. Soon after, it was time for my first IAP. During the month of January I came home. I remember the terrible drive home. I couldn't stop thinking of equations and concepts that I just finished talking about with my peers. This seems common and normal, but the extent by which it took over my time was abnormal. When I arrived home, my thoughts became even worse. They were magnified tenfold. I knew something was wrong when I could not sleep, eat or shower. I was avoiding everyone. I felt like I was there physically, but not mentally. I could not finish what I wanted to do during IAP, which was to prepare for classes for the upcoming semester. When I could not take thinking about the same concepts over and over and over again for hours and even days straight, I finally broke down. I cried in front of my father and told him what was wrong. I knew what I had. It was an evil, monstrous imp in my mind, that did not give up. It was a malignant tumor in my head that would not stop growing. It was a soul-sucking fiend that was never satisfied. I diagnosed myself and saw a psychiatrist, who at first did not believe me. Oh, how wrong he was. After giving me some zoloft, it was already time for the next semester.
I could not keep up with the classes I was taking. I emailed my professors with page long emails asking them deep questions that were not relevant. I had the biggest urge to derive, prove and question everything I was taught. When I couldn't handle it anymore, I sought help from MIT medical. Thinking I was suicidal, they sent me to Cambridge Hospital. I spent the night there, scared and worried. I sent a text out to all my friends talking about where I was. They became extremely worried and visited me at the place where I went to next. I was delivered to the best hospital in the world actually. But, sadly they first sent me to a psychiatric ward, where they took away my cell phone, laptop, and any other electronic devices I had. I couldn't even tell my parents where I was. They just kept me there with no definite time of leave. I wasn't allowed to go outside on my own and there were mandatory check ups every 10 minutes. This was one of the most horrible experiences in my life. I was stuck with people with bipolar disorder, schizophrenia...etc. I felt so alone, so isolated, and just plain violated. Then I heard of an institute, an institute that was the best of its kind, just like MIT. An institute to make me better. I was fortunate enough to attend that institute for about 13 weeks. I met the best of friends there. People who were dealing with the same problems I was dealing with. There were definitely many ups and downs, but I survived. I took exposure response prevention therapy along with cognitive therapy and classes for healing. When it was time for my departure, MIT informed me that I would have to complete some steps before returning. I would need to take classes "somewhere else" before coming back so they could tell I was ready for the institute's course load. So I did exactly that. I took classes at Columbia University. Then I took classes at another university and I received all A's.
And here I am today. With the help of constant psychotherapy and medicines, and the unforgettable support of my friends, I was able to overcome Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Here I am today, writing this message. I am on summer vacation working as a teacher and a private tutor, with a whole bunch of experience points on my back.
Now what was the point of me telling you my deepest, darkest secret? I need your help. I need your prayers for me. I am applying again to MIT. My application is due on June 15th, and I find out around August if I got in. I did it once with early action, but now I need to do it again. I am nervous and anxious about the whole thing. But I am also confident and I feel strong. Please, pray or hope or just have faith in me. I don't need sympathy, but I need closure. This disorder is something that I have conquered, not by myself, but with the help of others. I wanted to let the MIT community know that OCD is not just a quirk or a little problem where people wash their hands too much or organize things too much. NO. It is much more than that. It is a crippling, mental disorder than is unbearable without help. But thank God that is over for me. I am ready for MIT.
I love MIT so much. I cannot express in words how much I have missed p-setting and staying up all night there. I want to again be part of the MIT community.
Don't take anything for granted. I know I will not anymore. Thank you for reading. I hope to see you soon. Live strong and forever MIT!" "
#680
"Don't brag about your grades, you m.f., especially on facebook!
Seriously pisses me off."
#679
"I really, really, really don't want to say bye to you."