Hamline  Confessions

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I am voting for Donald Trump because he says what everyone is thinking and is a proven businessman. In this economy, we need someone who will fix America and create jobs, not Washington insiders, corrupt lunatics from Vermont, or people who pretend to be smart like Rand Paul.

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One time I was walking past old main around 3 am and I heard an organ playing. But it stopped whenever I looked up at the building. Not today, Satan.

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Hey guys, I need some help. I lost my winter hat today, and I was wondering if anyone has seen it around. It's brown and cream stripes with some patterning on it. It's a very special hat to me, so if anyone has seen/found it and could let me know by commenting, I would be eternally grateful and make you cookies. Thank you!!

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Mmmmm them girls with their glasses and mussy sex hair....ahhhhhh

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I overheard a professor say this: I want to start calling Hamline students "hammies." Can we make that a thing? Then bacon could be the mascot.

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Connor B, you are the sexiest man on campus

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Like Kevin 3 on facebook

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Dear person who put gum under a desk, You got gum on my one good pair of pants. I can't afford to buy new pants. What the fuck? I imagine you're some rich person with a million pairs of pants laughing sadistically. But I feel sorry for you, you heartless gum-smacker, for you are alienated from your fellow human beings. Your inconsiderate acts are but manifestations of your joyless life, the walls of your deep sadness. As you lie awake at night feeling the pain of your loneliness, maybe it would help to make a plan for what to do next time you are finished with your gum. I would recommend walking three steps to the fucking trash can and putting your gum there.

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