Hamline  Confessions

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I have a friend named Scott, who I sometimes call Scotty. He just started dating a girl named Fiona. Not joking. When he first told me, I just shook my head and was like, bro, that's a bad omen.

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I want to be referenced to in a hamline confession.... but I'm nervous it will never happen.

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Guys, if you can't fathom why women hate being catcalled, just think about those obnoxious salesmen at mall kiosks. You know how awkward and annoyed you feel trying to get by them as they desperately push their shitty products on you? Imagine if that happened EVERYWHERE, and if--instead of shoe cleaner--their product was dick. Sincerely, An empathetic, straight guy.

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Are you really wondering what would happen if you tried to dig a hole to china and if you fell in? Is this a legit conversation you are having or are you just high?

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I'm still fb friends with a guy I hooked up with here my freshman year, and whenever I see his posts I'm just like, my god, I can't believe I actually sucked that pretentious douchewads dick.

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Who's that hot blonde that sits in the second row of forensic science, J-term?

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If you put pepper in the salt shakers at Anderson, you're the worst kind of person.

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I am depressed. I am anxious. I am struggling. There, just had to get that off my chest.

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