Hamline  Confessions

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I feel alone, and many of the people here make me feel alone.

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I matched with a golden gopher football player on tinder and we have been talking ever since ! :) Have any of you had any fun or funny tinder matches?

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On the HU website, J-term grades are due March 1st. WTF such a leisurely time interval, seriously?!?

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I hate nights like tonight, when I am stuck in my own head and I can't get out. I hate them because I always come to the exact same realization; I hate myself. I hate myself because ultimately, I am alone and I cannot stand that. Although I have friends and family, and I love and care for them dearly, they all have someone else to turn to whenever things get rough. They all have a significant other, or a close relative, or another friend that they are closer to than me. With everyone I know, they have some other person so that when it really matters, I am left by myself. For a short time, I did have someone who was there for me and me first. Someone who I could turn to at my darkest moments and she would be there, with a word of confidence or shoulder to cry on. But since she left I haven't been as close to anyone as I was her. I mentioned in a previous post how when my last girlfriend left me, something in me broke. I don't miss her, at least I tell myself that, but I miss the feelings of closeness that I had with her. I miss the feeling of holding her in my arms, and how she held me back. I miss the feeling of running my fingers through her hair, or the feeling of her lips pressed against mine. I miss not being alone. They say that things like closeness and physical contact can extend a person's life. I believe them. I believe them because it feels like being alone is going to kill me. I wish I could tell them. How much they truly mean to me. That without them being in my life, even if it is for a few fleeting moments, I probably would have wasted away into nothing. No, I am not going to kill myself. This isn't a post to say that life would be better without me or anything like that. But I just wish that I wasn't alone anymore. Is that too much to ask?

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If you spit your gum on the sidewalk, you're the worst kind of person.

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This conversation about attraction to genitalia is making me aroused.

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I knocked my 120 dollar glass anal plug off the sink and broke it last night. Life sucks.

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Madeline Stauber, I just met you, and you are totes adorbs!!!!

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