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I cried in Walmart yesterday because I couldn't find any fancy cheese. I'm single and my life sucks. All I wanted to do was eat an eight dollar block of cheese. Is that too much to ask for?
When I was an RA, I used to get stoned all the time, and then I'd have to do rounds high and on weekends was sometimes forced to write people up for drinking in the dorms. Sorry class of 2016, I just had to do my job.
I am a huge Emma Stone fan and I love her, but why has she been nominated for 2 Oscars already (with 1 win now?). She honestly plays herself in everything. She is my spirit animal and I fucking love her, but she didn't deserve her Oscar. At least she isn't a rapist like Cassey Affleck tho.
College relationships are fucking tough. My girlfriend of 2 years just ended us because she doesn't love me anymore and she wants to live her life. My thoughts are I got a broken heart now but not a broken penis so maybe some sex with a beautiful man can fix my turmoil. I wouldn't mind spending hours eating my feelings away!
I hate this school. I picked the wrong university. Thanks for ignoring my existence everyone. This is the most excluded I've ever been in my entire life. I'm transferring as soon as humanly possible. Have fun studying at the modern day Sodom and Gomorrah. See you later shit lords!
Someone very smart and musical, vocally or instrumentally, that likes sports, with a high sex drive to match. Is that too much to ask? The universe has not put a being out there that has these attributes.
I think I'm in love with the guy who comments on everything with funny pictures. No one's ever made me laugh so much, yet we've never even met in person.