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Journal entry #1
I have been stranded in a wasteland since the 10th of december. I have been foraging for food but it seems like all the stocks are dwindling. Today I found a tall brown cave. I had to use all my might to pry it open. Inside I found mounds upon mounds of food! I quickly started to rummage through the food, looking for whatever good I can eat. I desperately searched through the found until I found a box of zebra cakes. I excitedly opened it up, ready to satisfy my hunger. As I pried it open with my frail weak fingers it started to slowly open. Oh the joy! I was so excited! At last I found food! But as I slowly opened it I came upon a realization... It was empty! I looked in the box again as I thought it to be a mistake, and I searched through the food more and more, panicking! Sadly I could not find any sweets to satisfy my hunger. It's like all the treats and candy have disappeared. So I continue to roam this desolate wasteland to find more food. But now here I am, back in my hut, waiting, waiting for more sweets to arrive, for more candy to satisfy my thirst.
Moral of the story? My parents need to fill the god damn pantry with some little Debbie snacks dammit.
I wanna be in a relationship sooooo bad. I just want a girl to hold. I've never been in a relationship before, but for the past few weeks or months I've just wanted to be in a relationship super bad. I have depression and I think it's kinda bad right now. I am a boy, which means I have to make the first move to be in a relationship. but I just wanna skip all the dating stuff and just have someone to cuddle with. I am so lonely.
I used to live with my girlfriend. We would cuddle every night. I miss holding her in my arms every night, so now I sleep with my arms wrapped around a pillow. I can't sleep otherwise.
No better feeling than taking care of an itchy but with a pinch and roll
Every time I scratch my nuts I have to smell my hand afterwords.
I'm a nerdy kind of loser type and after pretending to get invited to this one party at a U of M frat I was nervously sitting around in a quiet shitty corner when another group congregated near me and I stealthily glommed onto their group and they were passing these papers and stuff around and I took some and just did what they did and it was really weird and I think I had an amazing time on LDS. No wonder there's like an entire state devoted to it. This stuff really turned my life around.
Question for all you lovely people: is there really any difference between letting something go and burying it inside? Because I've been single for two years- the same amount of time as my last relationship- and all that transpired near the end and in the aftermath of that relationship still hurts as bad as if it were yesterday whenever it reenters my head. I have tried to just not think about it, and I've pursued many means of letting it go for good, all to no lasting avail. It's pathetic. But I'm starting to really think I'm incapable of letting go, and that I've just been burying it for all this time with mixed results. And I'm beginning to wonder if there's any difference, or another way to truly let go that I have yet to find. If there isn't, then I'm gonna feel pretty fucked; more so than I do already. Any thoughts?
I dropped out last semester…and not even from Hamline but from the school I transferred to…but cripes do I miss the Philosophy department here…Professor Holland and Kellert were the very few professors let alone people I met that never seemed at a loss of words when I had crazy or stupid questions; like good philosophers (at least to my knowledge) they always did their best to teach me and discuss with me. I take from them what any teacher wishes their students to take with them into the real world. Thank You Hamline philosophy department.