Submit your Hamline confession here: (100% anonymous)
Note: Don't rub one out after eating spicy food
I have always heard far more people complaining about Social Justice Warriors running rampant and ruining discourse around Hamline than I have seen anyone vaguely like who they describe. Chill out already.
Listen up, you plebians, to a tale of greatness. I found my calling at a young age in private schools, where I played horns and was a master debater (pun intended, of course, simpletons) and gained the sharpest tongue in the midwest which I use on ivy league girls on a semi-monthly basis. But what I truly use my gift for is to battle the two greatest enemies in the world: Secularism, where I put marijuana-snorting funny guys in their place, and Smoking on Campus, which MUST happen, for my only weakness (other than finding the right color sweater to tie around my neck) is walking through secondhand smoke, for when encountering it, I shrivel and suffocate like an alien in the wrong planet's atmosphere, and I have to retreat to my yacht to scowl at bad weed jokes and regain my strength. I will crush these and any other enemies that show their not-as-shiny-as-mine teeth at me.
Seriously, what is so wrong about joking about things like Columbine? It's not like people are going to go commit a mass murder just because we joke about it, nothing will undo those things, and you'd know if you knew someone who went through one of those. I'm not out to prove a point, I seriously want to hear an answer.
"Hi my is name Noor, if you forget it's like door with an n"....thats the cutes introduction I've ever heard and I'm definitely not going to forget
Is Tyler Johnson single?
This is excellent news folks. Joe Campbell is on the market. And I'm going for it.
My boyfriend calls his penis Brienne of Tarth and I told him if he doesn't stop, I'll tell all my friends about his little finger.