#Sorrynotsorry Confessions

John, you stole my heart. You’re the one that got away and you probably don’t even know that I exist.

#31726 To the ladies who answered the door wearing nothing but shorts...you made this delivery guy's night.

#31725 Back in high school there was this one guy and I who hated each other. One day he gave me a $25 gift card to Texas Roadhouse, and I thought "hey, maybe you're not such a bad guy after all."
Well, I just found that gift card again and ate at the Texas Roadhouse in Lafayette. When it came time to pay, I found out that there was only $1 on the card—he just wrote "25" on it.

#31727 Trying to figure out why people pay so much for clothing that just lets people know their favorite type of pizza.

I’ve f*cked in the stairwell of towers south.

I've used my vibrator in the Davies center bathroom

#31728 Two days last week my roommate pooped in a paper towel and left it on the kitchen counter. Apparently she got freaked out by something she read on the internet and thinks she caught tapeworms from the cat. Her logic is that since I'm in vet school, I SHOULD be able to diagnose her turd.

How do I go about telling her that paper towels are terrible for the sewer system and she should be using toilet paper?

I have a sugar daddy in Eau Claire. He’s well known in the business community here. He pays for my apartment, car, and tuition, and I fuck him a few nights a week. He’s actually in shape and a really good fuck. A couple guys have gotten mad about this so I don’t tell the guys I date anymore. No regrets!