Rollins  Confessions

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Since starting at Rollins, it has been my goal to drop a deuce in every public toilet on campus. Fall will be my last term and I only have 3 thrones left.

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Rollins needs to get more exciting graduation speakers. Like, "Here's our commencement speaker....NOBODY gives a fuck from WHODAFUCKCARES university! Yay!" Please. I'm sure we could afford someone a little more interesting! Like, come on...wouldn't it be cool if we got Cameron Diaz...or something?

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I know that certain sororities did the washing machine test on their new pledges (you know, have them stand on a washing machine and circling anything that jiggles with a sharpie). Thinking about it, isn't having cellulite better than being a perfectionist, Nazi cunt? I think it is. Team cellulite!

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Seeing Austin L on campus ALWAYS makes any day a great one

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The only way I got through long classes in the second semester was mentally going through my sexual fantasies at varied night clubs. Judge me all you want, bitches. My GPA speaks for itself.

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I just wish that Rollins students could value their own intelligence and education as much as they value $$$ and hotness so that it could become a real institute of higher learning one day..... but also I don't because what intelligent, educated person doesn't want a once in a lifetime chance to live in a social satire!!!!!! #boatsandhoes>booksandhw

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I used to steal my old roommate's lube so I could jack off.

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I've had sex in the WPRK DJ booth...during my show...

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