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Yesterday one of the Carnegie basement bathrooms reeked of sour cream and onion chips for hours except that can't have actually been the source of the smell so WHAT WAS IT

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The Bigelow Basement ALWAYS has and always will smell bad. The three certainties in life:Death, taxes, and bad smelling basement am I right?!?

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Fuck the police too, while we're at it

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Sometimes I feel really maternal toward my friend groups. When someone comments on the group or the people therein, I transform into a dramatic, southern mother and want to yell, "Don't touch ma babies!"

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When I ask people why they aren't studying away, I really want to know why they wouldn't choose to get away from Mac for a bit.

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If your quest to have sex in every building on campus involves a significant other, I am not impressed. If you're not boning a different person (preferably a stranger) in each building, do not tell me about it.

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I'm not usually around with jocks and I admire them for who they are, yet I still have the burning question: why do some Mac sport teams lost so frequently and injured themselves so often? What do you need to succeed? (no gatorade pls)

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I'm too embarrassed to ask anyone whether Mac Conspiracy Theories is satirical or not

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