Macalester  Confessions

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#674 I recently did a scientific study in my basement lab and found that clementines contain large quantities of guanine in the pith. If you're ever in need of a late night study aid, just take a scalpel to the orange skin and either place it under your tongue for 7.39 minutes or just chew and swallow. Upon revealing my findings to a virgin friend, she associated piths with penises and would not take my study seriously. Now I am contemplating testing penises for guanine with the same method as I used with the pith. Any volunteer subjects please contact me ASAP.

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#674 I'm no "athlete hater" because I'm not in high school anymore. But people in athletics definitely benefit from the college's attention in a way people in other student organizations and intercollegiate academic competitions do not. There is no recruiting for Mock Trial, Model UN or Debate. There are no paid coaches or a nice office space. PFs interested in these activities do not get personal tours. They do not get a weekly section in the campus newspaper. And they don't get any of these things even though they routinely win at a national level, something most of our athletic teams do not do. So sure, there are some immature athlete haters around. But while Mac athletes may not get treated like D1 level athletes, please do not act like people who choose athletics as their co-curricular activity get nothing special from the college, because they most definitely do.

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#674 while i am disappointed that the only female that ran for MCSG president did not win, i am happy as fuck that a colored kid won. wooot wooot!

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#674 I hate the sound of toilets flushings

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#674 Why is "cat lady" never a viable occupation? I just want to live alone with my cats and collect social security checks because I have a disability (communicating with anyone but cats).

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#674 I honestly have no problems with athletes but i thought the way promoters handled Scot Ball was fucked up. Either make it exclusively for athletes or actually invite non-athletes too. Kagins get better advertising than this shit.

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#674 I voted yes on the MPIRG referendum just to spite all the assholes on Mac confessions. You know, for the principle of it.

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#674 I distinctly recall my mother informing me that animals do not have souls and that "All Dogs Go To Heaven" would never actually happen. I was six. And that was the day I became one cynical SOB.

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