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#989 Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
#988 Whenever I'm feeling down I just strip in front of the mirror and do a few helicopters, always cheers me up
#987 i'm afraid of canadian people
#986 I was very sick for two weeks. The replies I got when I got in touch with S^3 and my four professors telling them when I would finish my work? 1) Drop my class, 2) I'm giving you a zero on the exam you missed and you should drop my class, 3) I'm giving you a zero on the exam you missed, 4) silence. S^3 is being less than helpful right now. This is super frustrating and isolating and is not helped by my depression/anxiety.
I'm lucky because I have a great support network of friends, but it's strange that this community always seems confused and surprised when there's a suicide. Sometimes the only thing keeping me from that is a friend who happened to check in at the right time, and I know I'm not the only one. This was already an issue, but callous profs aren't helping.
#985 I thought I was a happy and optimistic person, but during the past few weeks I've been rejected by many companies, bombed several tests, and gotten ignored by people. I feel like nothing good has happened to me lately. I'm really scared that if my bad luck continues, I'll end up doing something I regret, like self-harm or worse.
#984 This school is a pressure cooker. It makes even really stable people unstable.
#983 #981 I'm really starting to get irritated by how hard the institute has been pubbing the Apple events on campus this week. I've gotten over a dozen emails from various groups advertising the same events, and it just reinforces the whole stereotype of how circle-jerky Apple fans are. Yes, their design is marvelous, and yes they're coming to campus, but I don't see why Apple should get so much more publicity than any other company of equivalent caliber that comes to MIT's campus.
#982 I have some friends that are fucking smart. You think I'm just being a typical MIT student. No. I'm talking about International Olympiad Medalist smart. They breeze through all the classes I struggle in and then brush it off like its nothing. They are all so wonderful and amazing, but they give me a complex like none other. I can only dream of being as smart as them but I feel like I've hit this barrier. What I get done in 5 hours, they get done in 1. And yeah you can say all the bullshit about how it doesn't matter how accomplished or smart you are and how no one really cares after MIT, but I can't help but compare, especially as it is right there in my face. I know that any success or failure is my own fault and being bitter about how fucking dumb I am is immature, but I can't help it. Sometimes after staying up late to finish a pset they've already finished 4 hours earlier, I just feel so disgusted with myself. And I know that there's all these study techniques and all these resources available, but really, how much does that help? And I am getting help from my friends, but I just ask them so many questions I'm just frustrated with how dumb I am, regardless of whether or not my friends care. They don't, they're so willing to help it makes me even more angry with how incompetent I am. I'm just a burden, and I don't know what to do with my life, and fuck I'm just a huge fuck-up. Do I even have friends or are they just being nice to me?