Hamline  Confessions

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I confess that I don't have a confession. Now how're you going to count this?

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You ever take a shit that felt so good to get out that you felt one with the universe?

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Is it okay to punch a grammar Nazi?

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There's a guy that works at the anderson starbucks, and everytime he hands me my coffee I say "thanks" but what I really mean is "let me sit on your face

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The toilet paper in the hamline dorms is so rough on my ass that whenever I wipe now there's a little blood on the paper and pooping/wiping is starting to become a painful task. I'm going to target and I'm using my own damn paper from now on and let my asshole heal.

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You know that iPhone commerical where the guy tells his phone to play Marian Hill and then he dances? I just realized that's the same group that was at Winter Wonder Jam last year

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I don't get it, what's the deal with people not using Uber? Sure we pay less to use it than a regular taxi, but almost all of us buy our stuff from Walmart since the low pay they give workers lets us have cheap prices. Uber's CEO endorsed Trump, but so did Facebook executives, and I don't see anybody giving up Facebook. So what makes me so bad for using Uber?

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I low key want to see Mike Pence presiding over a public crucifixion.

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