Hamline  Confessions

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This professional writing course should be so damn easy but the prof makes it so damn hard

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In order for me to make child, he must first chop off his balls in sacrifice to me. Then I give him child -- Badass mofo

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I want to give Adam an angle 5 to the perineum. Mostly because he encourages that shot. Love ya man, good luck out there.

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I'm about to graduate and for the last four years I've been wondering why Hamline bathrooms don't provide toilet seat covers. I don't want my ass touching where someone else's ass has been. When I lived in the dorms my freshman year I developed a habit of making seat covers out of toilet paper and now I still do it in all public bathrooms automatically without first checking if there are toilet seat covers available. #thanksLinda

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JM I want you to know that there's nothing more than I'd want than to be with you. To feel your touch and taste your lips just once more. And I should've have said it then but if you two ever part or if you finally wake up leave her (because you deserve to be happy) that I'd have you again. Like I said, there's nothing I want more than to be with you again. It kills me every day, for now all I have are the memories of us.

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Why couldn't Gwen and Eve sing Fancy?

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Mom: I thought you said Daquan was a plumber. Me: Shit, I said Daquan lay down that pipe.

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I've got a real, non-rhetorical question for all the social justice advocates out there - they say that white people can't experience racism. What about anti-semitism? Most Jews are white, but isn't it a real and dangerous form of racism? I've been made to feel humiliated for being Jewish, and I'm white. But still, isn't this racism?

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