Every time I leave my girl friends apt in the morning I unleash a huge fart and it feels awesome.

Ever since I entered this school, I realized that I never should have came...I mean, a liberal arts major has no place here. 80% of the students have made that clear. But, I'm tired of you guys making it clear. You don't know why people go into this major, and you just make assumptions that either their parents are rich or they want an easy major. It's not easy to express the experiences that you've been through and sometimes being able to pursue your passion does that for you. It's the same for all of us no matter what major we are, and you've got to learn to respect that...at most.

I hate when people that go to UMD assume they're from DC.
Well mostly the ones that live in Maryland.
1) DC is not a part of Maryland. If it were I think we'd have in-state tuition.
Because even with the "assistance" we get here, it's really not enough.
2) Please stop moving into DC. I like my rich history.
Sorry. I don't want Chocolate City to be a city of heartless politicians and scientists.
I grew up with the history of DC. If you have no hope of getting to know this city, then what's the point of living in it?

I don't have much respect for those that got into UMD because of affirmative action.

The thing I miss most about my ex was eating her out. I don't know why I enjoyed it so much, but I just did. According to most girls I'd make the perfect girlfriend :P

My GPA is nowhere near what I want it to be. I know I can do better, and believe me, I will. Despite being an engineer, I'll make my mama proud.

I want more girls to snap chat me pictures of their boobs....any advice on how to make this a reality for me? or any ladies want to send me tit pics?

To the girl with the dress on in class in the row behind me: close your legs. The stench made me move after a few min in lecture. Also try vagisil.