#123 I just graduated and regret not trying to make a move on Joe Burns :/

-anyone know who the fuck Joe Burns is?

#122 I hate how so many sorority girls talk shit about other sororities. Like you're any better than them. Stop being so bitchy.

-sadly I think it comes with the territory

#121 I was one of the first people to get the PS2 modem and we had damn near 15 people in our shithole dorm in Lee Hall playing Madden. We were pounding shitty vodka and Hawaiian punch when I remembered I had to go to my 5pm math class. I was fucking hammered and tried to ride my sweet ass $75 Walmart bike to class like I was Lance Armstrong. I thought I would bunny hop onto the curb going about 15mph, and it felt like I was 10' in the air laying down a sick can-can. In real life however, I was not even off the ground and smashed into the curb, all my shit flew into a group of people, and at that point I gave zero fucks about attending my math class. I think I also tried to pour a daquiri in my pocket to sneak back in that night as well. Good times, good times.

#120 The closer I get to graduation the more I wanta sleep with a professor. Just last year I sneered at the idea.

-Go for it, college is the perfect time for meaningless sex with an authority figure!

#118 I piss on delts back porch every Monday at 3 am

#119 I stole a bottle of Tabasco from the cafeteria.

-let's be honest people, who hasn't stolen from the cafeteria before?

#117 At all sorority girl posts....you all look like you have a pool stick shoved up your ass. Stop stressing... It causes wrinkles.

#115 My friend stole a napkin holder from the Union.

-congrats?